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PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 12:17 pm 
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Ok, so I don't know if this is a good idea for a thread or not as it could end up being a really depressing thing to read!

We already have the positive thread, but nothing really as an opposite to that other than the annoyances thread, but that doesn't really seem the place to put things that are actually sad and not an annoyance.

If you're like me and have things happen in your life that you don't want to end crying on your friends in a pub over or posting on Facebook or the likes as you don't really want all your friends knowing. What better place to get things off your chest than the friendly, generally troll-free and usually mature off-topic section of the p-f1 forum. Where we're all friends but don't know each other!?

I'm hoping that if others read this thread, it won't just be people sharing sad things, but also others offering their own experiences and what helped them or offering words of encouragement. After all, helping others, even in the most simple of ways, can also help yourself (and hey, it can't help with your own karma either ;) )

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Last edited by minchy on Thu Sep 25, 2014 3:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The sad thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 12:38 pm 
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I'll also add that I decided to start this thread for my own selfish reasons as I had a bad day yesterday. After having a bad heart and being medicated up to the max for the past few months, yesterday was finally the time that we had no other choice but to get my dog put to sleep.

It's obviously a hard time for anyone who's been through this, but the hardest part was trying to explain it all to my daughter. I tried to make it as nice as possible, saying that she had to say goodbye because she was so poorly that we had to take her to the vets so they could put her to sleep and she would wake up in doggie heaven, but she'd never be able to wake up on Earth again. Seeing her little face looking so upset, not wanting to let go of the dog, saying she wanted to come to the vets with me, and all the while I was trying to keep a smile going was just heartbreaking.

Like I said in the OP, this isn't one of the things I want to plaster all over facebook, I don't really want to burden my friends who I'm close enough to with this, but I really do need to get it off my chest.

the first day they met and the last day they had together (click to show)

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 Post subject: Re: The sad thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 3:16 pm 
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minchy wrote:
It's obviously a hard time for anyone who's been through this, but the hardest part was trying to explain it all to my daughter. I tried to make it as nice as possible, saying that she had to say goodbye because she was so poorly that we had to take her to the vets so they could put her to sleep and she would wake up in doggie heaven, but she'd never be able to wake up on Earth again.



Or your dog could be re-incarnated as another little puppy. Just another angle, that may help your daughter accept her grief.

Sorry to hear about your current troubles minchy. It will pass. All part of the journey we call life. Hope things pick up.


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 Post subject: Re: The sad thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 3:24 pm 
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You just have to remember and savour the good times. It's really sad to lose a pet that's been part of your life. Remember that the dog was loved and that she loved you both back. That's how I remember my first dog and whilst it's incredibly sad to go through initially, it does get better and you can both look bach with happiness rather than sadness.


Last edited by flyboy10 on Thu Sep 25, 2014 3:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The sad thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 3:33 pm 
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I can understand most of what you are going through (I have no kids so that part escapes me) Over the years my wife and I have adopted (or been adopted by) several dogs. One dog which "followed me home" (according to my wife) we had for a long time but suffered a stroke while my wife was out of town: I had to take the decision to have her (the dog) put down. You can imagine the scene when my wife came back to that piece of news.
Right now another adoptee who we found as a freezing puppy just before xmas five years ago is not going to fit when we retire to the south and we are trying to find him another home.
I don't know what a shrink would make of it but it almost seems that the death of a human family member is somehow easier to take (perhaps because they can express their final thoughts and wishes???)

PS. I sat here for a long time wondering whether to hit the submit button and I'm still not sure this sounds right.


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 Post subject: Re: The sad thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 3:41 pm 
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I've lost many dogs over the years and it never ever gets easy. I have pictures of all my past and present dogs around the house. At first it's tempting to take the pictures down when they die as looking at them gives you a painful reminder, however, I tend to find that quicker than expected I tend to have a little smile when I see the pictures and I can remember all the good times.

It's an old cliché, but memories really do last a lifetime and although they are not as good as the real thing, they are still a great comfort to me when I think of all the adventures me and my dogs have been on.

You may also want to consider renaming the thread to something along the lines of 'I need a bit of a pick-me-up thread'. Same thread, slightly more positive feeling towards it.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 4:08 pm 
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Thanks for all your replies.

@runningman - I could do, but she goes to church with her grandparents and has the while heaven thing in her head.

@flyboy, painless and asphalt - I know what it's like to lose a pet, I've always had at least 1 animal with me since I was about 13 and my parents said I could get my own (still my axolotl swimming about), still got pics of all my old animals too, it was seeing my daughter upset that I was ready for and as I don't live with her I can't see how she's coping with it. I told her teacher when I picked her up yesterday and had no phone calls today, so hopefully everything's fine.

And good idea asphalt, title changed!

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 4:39 pm 
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Losing a dog is gutting. It is 5 years since I had to make the decision with my last dog (I do not mean my previous dog, there will not be another one) and I still wonder if I made the right choice. Could he have survived for longer? yes, did he or I want him to? I hope he did not. He lost his dignity and he was always a dignified dog. We have to think it was the right thing to do. Carrying a 11 stone dog out to do his business and carrying him back is not a good day for him or me.
He is still with me when I go for walks, as his last collar is now my hat band.

For some obscure reason, the thing that stuck in my mind was why did the vet swab his leg with antiseptic when he gave him his last injection? Stupid what you notice at times like that.

I sympathize with you.

ps, ref runningman67 it may not be the same for you as it was for me, but by coincidence I happened to read James Herbert's FLUKE soon after. It is not in his usual horror style.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 6:02 pm 
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There are many positive phycological reasons to find a shoulder to cry on.

Try not to cry alone. Find a good listener and someone trusted and let it all go. :nod:


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2014 7:59 pm 
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http://emergencycompliment.com/

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 10:46 am 
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Lately, whenever I feel down I just remember a silly moment I had with two friends at the Download festival this year. It's not a story that tells well, but honestly it cracks me up to this about it. I've been friends with these guys since the middle of high school and we were having a real f**king miserable time right at this point. (Especially since I was off carrying booze that wasn't mine because the girls couldn't lug all their crap in one go so we had to go for a second trip). Actually, a secondary highlight was the girls agreed to put the tents up while we saw Tesla then got the rest of our crap. When we got back, they hadn't bothered putting up on our tents (not mine) and that cracked me up too. Man, that was a damn good weekend. One of the best, if not the best, weekend of my life.


While I'm not a pet person (FYI, I find it VERY disconcerting when a dog owner refers to themselves as the dog's master) since I've been bitten of scratched by almost every animal I've had close contact with (rat bite was the sorest and bled the most). I can totally understand attachment to a living creature. I can understand attachment even to inanimate objects when those are tied to some kind of good memory. While the physical body or item is important, I am a firm believer that the memories we have and leave behind are so damned important.

As this post wasn't nearly geeky enough, I always adored this line from Firefly : When you can't run anymore, you crawl... and when you can't do that... You find someone to carry you.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2014 3:05 pm 
Minchy, we all share this planet, we sometimes forget that each and every one of us carries emotions and memories, that we feel pride, happiness, and sadly, pain. I don't know you, all I can see is what's displayed on my monitor. But behind that screen I know there's a human being, one who at this time is not feeling well. Over the years we have crossed paths in this forum, we have sort of learned a little bit about each other, and learned from each other.

Every so often we face hardships that make each day a little harder to face, nights where sleep is more difficult, and relationships more strained. All I can tell you is that we all face those hard days at one time or another, and it pains me to see you like this. But you are not alone, there are people who truly care about you, and offer hope and support.

I care *HUGS*


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2014 12:02 am 
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Our puppy died nearly 3 years ago and it's left the biggest hole in our lives.

My Dad, who rarely shows emotion or cries, wont talk about Teddy because it's too upsetting.

He was a lovely, playful inquisitive pup who wanted to be a part of everything. Three years ago he ate a nectarine stone and it got lodged in his intestine. What followed was a horrible race again time and infection. Mum would have done everything to save him but nothing was enough. It hurts because he was in pain and no one could tell him why, we could only stay with him and show him we loved him.

They aren't just pets, they're family xx

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2014 11:21 am 
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Raquello wrote:
Our puppy died nearly 3 years ago and it's left the biggest hole in our lives.

My Dad, who rarely shows emotion or cries, wont talk about Teddy because it's too upsetting.

He was a lovely, playful inquisitive pup who wanted to be a part of everything. Three years ago he ate a nectarine stone and it got lodged in his intestine. What followed was a horrible race again time and infection. Mum would have done everything to save him but nothing was enough. It hurts because he was in pain and no one could tell him why, we could only stay with him and show him we loved him.

They aren't just pets, they're family xx



Been there Raq - I feel for you.

If a hug acts as 'a bit of a pick me up', here's one from me to you.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 1:21 pm 
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Raquello wrote:
Our puppy died nearly 3 years ago and it's left the biggest hole in our lives.

My Dad, who rarely shows emotion or cries, wont talk about Teddy because it's too upsetting.

He was a lovely, playful inquisitive pup who wanted to be a part of everything. Three years ago he ate a nectarine stone and it got lodged in his intestine. What followed was a horrible race again time and infection. Mum would have done everything to save him but nothing was enough. It hurts because he was in pain and no one could tell him why, we could only stay with him and show him we loved him.

They aren't just pets, they're family xx

Oh Raquello, I feel for you. I've been there too. And you're right, they are family as much as any human members are.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2014 3:18 pm 
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Raquello wrote:
Our puppy died nearly 3 years ago and it's left the biggest hole in our lives.

My Dad, who rarely shows emotion or cries, wont talk about Teddy because it's too upsetting.

He was a lovely, playful inquisitive pup who wanted to be a part of everything. Three years ago he ate a nectarine stone and it got lodged in his intestine. What followed was a horrible race again time and infection. Mum would have done everything to save him but nothing was enough. It hurts because he was in pain and no one could tell him why, we could only stay with him and show him we loved him.

They aren't just pets, they're family xx

Big hugs from me too! Really feel for you and you're right, a loved pet no matter how young or old are always a part of the family :)

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 6:42 pm 
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Argentum wrote:
Raquello wrote:
Our puppy died nearly 3 years ago and it's left the biggest hole in our lives.

My Dad, who rarely shows emotion or cries, wont talk about Teddy because it's too upsetting.

He was a lovely, playful inquisitive pup who wanted to be a part of everything. Three years ago he ate a nectarine stone and it got lodged in his intestine. What followed was a horrible race again time and infection. Mum would have done everything to save him but nothing was enough. It hurts because he was in pain and no one could tell him why, we could only stay with him and show him we loved him.

They aren't just pets, they're family xx



Been there Raq - I feel for you.

If a hug acts as 'a bit of a pick me up', here's one from me to you.



As a postscirpt to this, we have just got ourselves a new family member - Murray, a Husky.


@Raquello - hope you and your family can reach a point where you can get a new puppy. Not as a replacement for Teddy (they are never replaceable), but just because it means you have all healed enough to welcome a new member into your home.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:57 pm 
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Blinky McSquinty wrote:
... we all share this planet, we sometimes forget that each and every one of us carries emotions and memories, that we feel pride, happiness, and sadly, pain...

... But you are not alone, there are people who truly care about you, and offer hope and support...

I think that this cover by the Housemartins sums that up for most of us here...

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 14, 2014 12:07 pm 
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I have read this thread with a tear in my eye.

I have a 13 year old staffie who is not well & I am entering that stage where I have to accept she won't be around for much longer.

For 13 years she has been my shadow, my best mate. She listens when times are tough, is always happy to see me & has helped me through many many hard times.

She goes almost everywhere with me, either walking or in the car. Whenever there is crap in my life, I know my dog is there waiting to sit with me & listen to me talk s**t.

Pretty soon I won't have that anymore & every time I look at her my heart breaks. My best mate is slowly leaving me.

I know one day soon I will walk out the back to an empty dog house, an untouched tennis ball, no dog s**t in the yard & no best mate to sit & talk to.

It took me 40 minutes & a lot of wiping of my eyes to type this.

Sorry, I know it's not a pick me up post, but , well, I don't know. Just thought I'd share it I suppose.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2014 4:05 pm 
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Accident in Glasgow city centre. A bin lorry crashed into a bunch of pedestrains outside Queen Street Station and (unconfirmed I think) reports of something like 6 dead and according to a friend who is a nurse at one of Glasgow's hospitals double digits of injured.

I work a short distance from there and walk that route to get the train. My brother is fine, and I've text a few friends from my office who might have been in today to make sure they are alright. George Square has an ice rink and amusement type place up for Christmas so I really hope there were not any wee kids involved in this crash.

Last year we had the Clutha helicopter crash, this year we have this.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2014 4:30 pm 
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went to feed my cats this morning and noticed my male cat had not budged even when i took the lid off the cat food. It looks as though he passed away peacefully in his sleep . I am absolutely gutted as he was my very first pet and i loved him to bits. The worst thing is i do not want my kids to find out as i do not want them to be upset over christmas so i've got to make out nothing has happened and keep a brave face. The saving grace i can find is that he did have a good innings being 14 years old and thankfully did not suffer


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2014 6:21 pm 
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neostar wrote:
went to feed my cats this morning and noticed my male cat had not budged even when i took the lid off the cat food. It looks as though he passed away peacefully in his sleep . I am absolutely gutted as he was my very first pet and i loved him to bits. The worst thing is i do not want my kids to find out as i do not want them to be upset over christmas so i've got to make out nothing has happened and keep a brave face. The saving grace i can find is that he did have a good innings being 14 years old and thankfully did not suffer

Sorry to hear that, but in all honesty, you'd be better off being honest with your kids and tell them what's happened. The hardest part will trying to be strong yourself to help the kids understand. But whatever you decide to do, it's not a nice time of year to lose a pet you really care about, my heart goes out to you and I hope you can still have a hood Christmas with the kids.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2014 10:55 pm 
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minchy wrote:
neostar wrote:
went to feed my cats this morning and noticed my male cat had not budged even when i took the lid off the cat food. It looks as though he passed away peacefully in his sleep . I am absolutely gutted as he was my very first pet and i loved him to bits. The worst thing is i do not want my kids to find out as i do not want them to be upset over christmas so i've got to make out nothing has happened and keep a brave face. The saving grace i can find is that he did have a good innings being 14 years old and thankfully did not suffer

Sorry to hear that, but in all honesty, you'd be better off being honest with your kids and tell them what's happened. The hardest part will trying to be strong yourself to help the kids understand. But whatever you decide to do, it's not a nice time of year to lose a pet you really care about, my heart goes out to you and I hope you can still have a hood Christmas with the kids.


i am going to tell them but it will be after christmas, i cannot do that do them know but i know that they know about it.

i saw this thread yesterday and thought it was a good idea to get things "off the chest" so to speak but my god i could not have foreseen what what was coming. This has helped me tremendously and i thank you for that Minchy.


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